JD Vance’s Presidential Dreams Are Crumbling—And It’s Glorious to Watch

JD Vance’s presidential ambitions are already collapsing, thanks to the very mega-donor who bankrolled his meteoric rise—and, honestly, it’s a bit of a joy to witness. Welcome to the chaos.

Once a critic of Donald Trump, Vance now stands proudly beside him, a move that reeks of opportunism. His political ascent isn’t the result of skill or charisma—it’s fueled by billionaires willing to write enormous checks. At the top of that list: Peter Thiel, PayPal co-founder and early Facebook investor, who has funneled more than $15 million into Vance’s ventures. Vance even credited a Thiel talk during his Yale Law School days as “the most significant moment” of his academic life. That connection has persisted, with Thiel helping Vance land early roles in venture capital and keeping him in the spotlight.

But the relationship isn’t just cozy—it’s controversial. Thiel’s company, Palantir, is infamous for mass data collection on Americans, developing software to assist with immigration enforcement, and even supplying weapons to Israel. Combine that with Vance’s tight ties to Trump, and you have a recipe for political headaches.

Vance’s image is also under strain: he flip-flops on key issues, lacks the likability or charisma needed for national office, and is married to a non-white, non-Christian woman—a detail that could alienate parts of the Republican base. Critics are increasingly scrutinizing his relationship with Thiel and Palantir, especially as privacy concerns mount and even conservative voices like Joe Rogan call the company “creepy.”

Columnist Arwa Madawi of The Guardian warns that this combination of smarm, elitist backing, and controversial connections could spell disaster for Vance’s 2028 presidential ambitions. For someone who has built a career on billionaire support and aligning with power, the cracks are starting to show—and the ground is shrinking.

In short: JD Vance may have thought he could buy a path to the presidency, but the public, the press, and even some of his own party members are reminding him that money, ambition, and opportunism alone might not be enough. JD, consider this a friendly tip: check your friends, your alliances, and maybe even your sofa bed. 2028 is going to be… interesting.